Ashe took the cloth away from his face and looked down at it; it was easier to begin this not looking at Skye. "After Rowan's death, and Ian was declared Not-Kin, I lost touch with Yarrow."

"Lost touch? I don't understand. You do share MindSpeak, do you not?" Skye's brow furrowed as she waited for Ashe to go on.

"Aye, we do." His voice dropped to just about a whisper. "But I warded myself against him. I had to do it. I was with Evaynan, trying to keep him from grieving to death, and Yarrow's rage was a hindrance. It was so strong, Skye. It was like a fire that burned in both our minds, and watching my father mourn as he did fed the rage. I didn't know what to do; I knew Yarrow was dangerous like that, but I was more concerned that Evaynan might lose the will to live if I left him to deal with Rowan's death on his own."

"So what did you do?"

Ashe dabbed at his face with the cloth again as he marshalled his words. "I forced Yarrow to make a promise. I made him promise, on the love he bore for Rowan, not to attack her son. Oh, he cursed me for that; his feelings for Rowan went further than what a brother has for a sister normally, but such things are not unknown among our folk."

"Ian told me that the three of you were what they call a Dark Triad?" Skye handed him a dry cloth and took the wet one from him.

"Aye. It was because Rowan did not feel the same towards Yarrow. That hadn't bothered him before, during her marriage. It was only after she'd become involved with Ian's father that he became more unpredictable."

"So. You made him swear not to harm Ian, and then you stopped using Mindspeech with him. But wouldn't seeing him in his anger been just as much a distraction?"

"It would have, had he come with us when we left this plane. But Yarrow would not go; he was furious, claiming we should have all stayed, hunting Ian down and taking blood for blood. He just disappeared, went off on his own, and by the time Evaynan was better, it was too late. Time passes differently in the Green Silences than in mortal lands. What to us were only a few years were twenty here. When next I journeyed here, Ian was a grown man by human reckoning, even if still a child by ours. And when I heard he'd lost his first wife and two children, I didn't make the connection right away. They were supposed to have been killed in that storm; there was no reason to suppose it to be other than a natural catastrophe."

Skye looked at Ashe sharply. "Are you telling me Yarrow caused that storm?"

"No." He shook his head. "He doesn't have as strong a Gift as your husband in that way. He did not cause it. But he certainly took advantage of it, and stole away Kara and Dara in its midst. Later he tried to take Shane as well, right here, over in the nursery. All this happened before I returned to this plane. I had removed the wards and from the very first time I touched his mind once more, I could tell my brother was trying to hide something from me. He'd never been able to do that before, and the only reason he was able to do now was because I had blocked him out for so long. It was some time before I learned the truth." He tossed the cloth to the table with a look of self-disgust. "I 'd had him promise not to attack Ian; I had said nothing about family and friends. Yarrow had seized upon that as a way to torment him and have some measure of revenge."

Skye moved over to him and placed a hand on Ashe's shoulder. "Ashe, you can't blame yourself for that. As you said, Ian was barely a man when all this started, you couldn't have known he'd have started a family before your return. You tried to talk Yarrow into bringing the girls home didn't you?"

"I tried, but it was no use. His hatred of Ian had twisted everything, even his feelings for Rowan. He realized it was she who had saved Ian's life by sacrificing her own life force, and viewed that as a betrayal. I couldn't reason with him. While I knew he would never physically harm Ian's daughters, I realized he would not hesitate to do anything to keep them from returning home to Camelot. I feared he would try to take the other children as well, so I came here, to prevent that. Now my foolishness at the Fields of Dawn may make that no longer possible."

"Ashevathallion! Don't tell me a blow to the head and a few cracked ribs are enough to make you give up? If there's only one thing I know, it's that my Ian loves and respects you. Let me talk with him; I'll make him see reason if I have to hit HIM in the head with the practice blade, alright?" She smiled, then gave the elf a quick peck on the cheek. "It will be alright, I promise." She stepped back to give him a reassuring smile, then stopped as his face twisted in grief and another emotion. Could it have been fear? "Ashe, what is it? What else haven't you told me?"

04/2001

*********

The Lost: Part XXV

Ashe let out a sigh, then winced slightly as the action sent a reminder of the ribs that were cracked. "Yarrow is mad."

Skye cocked her head. "Of course he bloody well is, or he wouldn't have done all this to Ian."

"Skye, I am not speaking in jest. He is..twisted. I should have realized it much, much longer before Rowan even bore Ian." He ran the edge of his index finger down the scar on his face, stopping before he reached the part cut open in the practice yard. "It began with this. And Mezumiiru forgive me, I didn't see it. Or I did, and didn't want to admit it. How could I have not known? We shared the same womb; we've know each other's thoughts since before we were born. How could I not have known?" It was less a question than a self-accusation.

"I've often wondered why you didn't do something about that scar. I was certain one of your folk with the Healing gift could have taken care of removing it. They could have, couldn't they?"

He nodded. "If I'd let them, aye. But I didn't. It's a long story, Shuurukai. The short version is this: the blow was meant for Yarrow, but the person who wielded the sword had no idea we were twins. By the time Yarrow found me, it was infected and I was feverish; he got me back to the Green Silences, but it was a near thing. Yarrow was always the wilder one, always the one who took chances without thinking through to the possible consequences. I thought, if he saw this, a visual reminder of what his actions had caused, he would start to be more responsible. Instead, I started him down the road to what he has now become."

"Ashe, that's ridiculous! You can't blame yourself for every wrong turn Yarrow has made! I accept the fact he may indeed be insane, but that is not your fault. It's how he was created."

"Perhaps." He stood. "But whatever the reason, he is my twin. Short of the Soulbond, there is no closer bonding of minds. He is insane, and in time, so I will be as well."

Then before Skye could ask more, the tall elf turned and walked out of the room. By the time Skye had reached the door, he was nowhere to be seen.

*********

Ian was sitting alone at a table in the firehall when she found him, just sitting and staring at those damn blocks the killer was leaving as some sort of sick calling card. He looked up as she started across the room towards him and pushed the toys into a small bag, then frowned.

"Well? Where is he?"

"And hello to you, too, love." Skye slid into the chair across the table. "He must have left by the arena door. He'll live, although he will be sore for some days."

"And I should feel guilty, I take it?" His chin set stubbornly as he looked across at her.

"Tsk, of course not, love!" She patted the hand nearest hers. "It is going to be a bit difficult, but we'll manage."

"Manage? Manage what?"

"Ian, surely we can't have you chasing Ashe about all the time bashing at him with a wooden stick like it was some life size Punch and Judy show. No, that won't do at all. We'll simply have to cope with life without Uncle Ashe."

"Skye…"

"No, no, dear! I understand, truly! We'll have to explain it to the children of course, but they did get the gist of it earlier, what with Evaynan's sending and your reaction. We'll just start looking for another tutor and a nanny and someone to help Shane with learning more about his Gift, but we'll manage." She patted his hand, giving him what she thought was a brave smile.

"You expect me to believe that line, Shurrukai?" Despite the words, Ian didn't pull his hand away. "You know what he did! I never realized I had failed to talk to Evaynan about the girls, not once. He may have kept me from then best chance I've had to force Yarrow to return them to us."

Skye nodded. "Yet I seem to recall you saying you thought Duir's arrival could have sundered the clan. Can you imagine what your accusation would have done?"

"I should have had the freedom to make that choice on my own, damn it! I would have kept quiet for the moment, but apparently Ashe didn't trust my judgement."

"Is that what angers you most, Ian? Or that he was able to put that geas on you without your knowledge in the first place?"

He ran his free hand across his eyes. "I don't know, Skye. I do know he's known things about Yarrow and kept silent."

"Pfft! Of course he did! Ian, they are brothers, twin brothers! The other day, when that jar of preserves mysteriously broke, you and I both knew either Calen or Conn had done it. But they took the punishment together, because whichever one did it, the other would not betray him. You said they were twinbonded; well, so are Ashe and Yarrow, and no matter what Yarrow has done, Ashe still loves him." She gave Ian's hand a gentle squeeze. "And Ashe fears him as well." She saw the last words sink in , then nodded. "Yes, I said fears. Come along outside, Ian, my love. I've more to tell you."

She tugged on his hand until he stood, and then slipping her arm under his, steered the two of them for the garden doors.

04/2001

*********

The Lost: Part XXVI

The lake mist swirled in the early light of day, tendrils reaching out towards the figure sitting on the rock as if to offer comfort, but he didn't seem to notice its damp embrace. He sat staring out across the water towards the west, dawn sky at his back, his calm features masking the turmoil within.

Try as he might, Ashe could not seem to put to rest the emotions he had felt since his confession to his father:
... shame, that he not acted sooner to put right the things his brother had done, and shame as well for keeping Ian from demanding the justice rightfully his;
... anger, that Yarrow's actions had brought them both to this pass;
... and fear, that the insanity would spread to him through the link they shared as twins.

Worst of all was the sorrow that he felt. He hadn't known for certain what sort of welcome he would receive from Ian and his family when he had first arrived here in Camelot. Goddess knew his nephew had ample cause to be bitter at the way his elven kinfolk had treated him as a child and then a young man. But against all hope Ashe had found a home. Determination to protect Ian's sons and daughter from being taken by Yarrow as he had taken the older girls had quickly become strengthened by love for these children. And if Ian had harbored resentment against Ashe in the past, it had vanished long ago. The respect and friendship of Ian and Skye had come to be something he treasured.

And now he might have lost that forever, at least on Ian's part.

"Brother?"

The mist rose higher before his rock, shimmered, and then faded, giving way to a scene far from Camelot.

"Yarrow?"

"Do you have another brother, Ashe?"

The voice was light, mocking, the Yarrow of the easy laugh and witty jests, a painful reminder of better times they once had shared. His brother stood against a stone wall with the sun rising from behind him, his hair and cloak waving wildly in the wind that was apparently blowing across Isle this morning. "For that matter, do you have any brother at all now? I am Out-clan now, aren't I?" Now the voice was bitter. "What have you done to me, Ashe? What have you done to us?"

"I did what I should have done long ago, brother. I gave you your chance. You had only to bring Ian's daughters back, and I would have helped you face father. You chose not to take that chance, and still I said nothing. But I am done, Yarrow, done protecting you at the expense of Ian's children."

"Ian. Always Ian! Tell me, Ashe, did Rowan mean nothing to you? Did you love her so little that you simper about her killer, seeking his favor?"

So: here it was once more, the same argument. "Yes, I loved our sister. I will miss her until the time comes that I greet her in the Summerlands. And by the love I know we shared for her, Yarrow, I am begging you, let this vengeance you seek drop. Ianno is her son. Her death was an accident, and she forgave him! She would not want to see you hurt him, nor would she be happy to see what this obsession has done to you. You ask me what I have done to you. Perhaps, brother, it is time you ask yourself what you have done to us."

Yarrow looked at him across the miles from where he stood and for the briefest of moments Ashe dared to hope he had finally reached some spark of sanity in his twin. And then Yarrow shook his head in anger, and with that simple act, forced Ashe to finally accept his brother would never change.

"I can't do this anymore, Yarrow. I will always love you, but I cannot let your rage rule both our lives." He stood and then gathered his will. "Goodbye, brother." Then before he lost his resolve, he began the act of blocking out the bond between them. Even as he did, part of his being howled in protest. This was his twin, his other self, how could he set a barrier between their souls? Joined to that was Yarrow himself, first protesting, then raging, and finally begging as the wards fell into place and shut him out. But with the final ward came the separation of the minds, and with that the vision of the mists began to fade.

The last sight Ashe had of his brother was of a face filled with rage.

Then even that was gone, and he shivered. Yarrow's last fading emotions had been loneliness and that resonated strongly with Ashe himself. In all probability Ian would not forgive him, and his time here at Camelot was at an end. He gathered up his cloak and leapt down from the rock, starting for the path that led back to the hall. Perhaps he should start packing his few belongings up in his room in the tower.

Further up the path, movement caught his eye. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Uncle Ashe!" Shane stepped from behind a tree and stood blocking the way. "Mother sent me to get you. Breakfast is waiting, and the twins are restless. She says you better hurry before Da eats all the food." He held out his hand.

And wordlessly, as a smile of relief spread across his face, Ashe took the boy's hand.

04/2001