Quicksilver

Big IFs

I do not understand the struggle. I do not expect that anyone shall be able to precisely define the Universe, God, Reality or the Whole of it by way of logical proof or scientific explanations.

If we can define it, it is no longer infinite.

If we can specify what came before or comes after, it is no longer eternal.

If we can explain precisely how it works, it must be a static (closed, fixed) system and not a dynamic (flexible, changeable, growing) system.

If we can prove it, then it's an absolute, and freewill is removed. Otherwise, there is an inherent need for that leap or even a babystep of faith/belief.

My Reality is dynamic, flexible, growing, infinite and eternal, and all together, interconnected, such that each individual impacts the whole. I know I cannot prove it nor can I explain precisely how it works. I know that I can only speculate and develop ways of thinking about my Reality such that I can function within it and with others, regardless of what their Reality entails.

I believe in more than what I can see, touch, taste, hear, smell, measure, model, or speak. I believe in more than what this narrow scope of a single human lifetime on this globe can show me.

I believe in freewill, meaning choice. I choose a vision in which I can learn, grow, be, and do, with no limits except those which I set for myself, out of compassion for others and concern for the greater good.

I believe. I'm not worried that I might be wrong. I know to my very core that I am not. That is enough. I know that others feel the same.

I know that some are sure I am a monumental fool. I'm unconcerned about this. If they are right about Reality for everyone, then we're in a closed finite system with no freewill and what we do makes no difference whatsoever because we're only borrowed dust for a while and to dust we'll return. If we're lucky, per some, the deity who let us fall to a redundant life of ultimate uselessness and trials and death may take us back in. In the meantime we're here to provide adoration for this gift?

Sorry. I just don't buy that. It's my life I'm spending and I'd rather have a joyful one with open-ended opportunity and company along the way. It is not surprising to me that I can manifest from these beliefs and experience this joy. I fear no harm, no punishments, no damnation. I see blessings in every blade of grass, every peeping frog, every child's smile, every warm embrace. I am warmed by the sun and caressed more gently by the moon's light. I walk upon this little rock as part of it, and the rock and I and all else here are part of All That Is.

If I'm living an illusion, so be it. At least I have chosen it, designed it, created it... rather than staying locked in a literal deadend over things we cannot know. If it's over when I'm over at the conclusion of this mortal stage... well, I will have had a joyous run.

07.31.2001

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