ACCURATE ACRONYMS TRUTHS AND ONE-LINERS LAWS OF PROGRAMMING SOFTWARE LIFE CYCLE: HOW SOFTWARE IS BORN HOW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES ARE LIKE CARS TEN COMMANDMENTS OF STRESS-FREE PROGRAMMING BYTE BACK homegrown computer quips FAMOUS LAST WORDS (ie, KISS OF DEATH) "It'll run this time!" "I just found/fixed the last bug."

It's not a bug. It's a feature! Yeah, right. THE BUGS STOP HERE. Itza bug! C'mere you lil' sucker... ACCURATE ACRONYMS: (and a little aliteration? ;) PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN - It Still Does Nothing SCSI - System Can't See It DOS - Defunct Operating System OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too. WINDOWS - (aka WinDoze) When I Need Data Output Without Speed; Wholly Inadequate Needless Damned Outrageous Waste of Space; Will Install Needless Data On Whole System WWW World Wide Wait APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity DEC - Dump Everything and Close; Do Expect Cuts IBM - I Blame Microsoft; It Built Microsoft; Itty Bitty Machines; Idiots Building Machines; It Bit Me MAC - Most Absurd Computer MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs MICROSOFT - (aka MicroSloth) Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control (looks like it worked?) COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed PTF - Patch the F*cker PWS - Piece [of] Worthless Sh!t FECES - Field Engineer crossed with Customer Engineer AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse. And for those of us who existed before Windows *gasp!*... ASCII a silly question, get a silly ANSI. C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files. ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS. C:\DOSWC:\DOS\RUN\WRUN\DOS\RUN\ APLers do it right... to left. BUGS ZAPPED Damn! There's a bug in the counter! Email