ACCURATE ACRONYMS TRUTHS AND ONE-LINERS LAWS OF PROGRAMMING SOFTWARE LIFE CYCLE: HOW SOFTWARE IS BORN HOW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES ARE LIKE CARS TEN COMMANDMENTS OF STRESS-FREE PROGRAMMING BYTE BACK homegrown computer quips FAMOUS LAST WORDS (ie, KISS OF DEATH) "It'll run this time!" "I just found/fixed the last bug."

It's not a bug. It's a feature! Yeah, right. THE BUGS STOP HERE. And they have the nerve to call for Room Service! #$%^&*(!! TEN COMMANDMENTS OF STRESS-FREE PROGRAMMING Thou shalt not worry about bugs. Bugs in your software are actually special features. Thou shalt not fix abort conditions. Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort again. Thou shalt not handle errors. Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or your users are error prone. Thou shalt not restrict users. Don't do any editing, let the user input anything, anywhere, anytime. That is being very user friendly. Thou shalt not optimize. Your users are very thankful to get the information, they don't worry about speed and efficiency. Thou shalt not provide help. If your users cannot figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway. Thou shalt not document. Documentation only comes in handy for making future modifications. You made the software perfect the first time, so it will never need modifications. Thou shalt not hurry. Only the cute and the mighty should get the program done by deadline. Thou shalt not revise. Your interpretation of specs was right. You know the users' requirements better than they do. Thou shalt not share. If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves. BUGS ZAPPED Damn! There's a bug in the counter! Email