ACCURATE ACRONYMS TRUTHS AND ONE-LINERS LAWS OF PROGRAMMING SOFTWARE LIFE CYCLE: HOW SOFTWARE IS BORN HOW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES ARE LIKE CARS TEN COMMANDMENTS OF STRESS-FREE PROGRAMMING BYTE BACK homegrown computer quips FAMOUS LAST WORDS (ie, KISS OF DEATH) "It'll run this time!" "I just found/fixed the last bug."

It's not a bug. It's a feature! Yeah, right. THE BUGS STOP HERE. Just to vex me, before finding a better hiding place. SELF-EVIDENT TRUTHS AND OTHER ONE-LINERS: Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited. "If programmers can fix programs that break, why can't they write programs that work?" How do I set my laser printer on stun? "Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand." If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. (-Mark Twain's ...lies, damn lies, and statistics.") You Might Be a Technoid if... every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. You Might Be a Technoid if... you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary. Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it. Profanity is the one language all programmers know best. (Testers too!) Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find that programmers cannot write in English. Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug. BUGS ZAPPED Damn! There's a bug in the counter! Email