Reflection Still on the topic of our reactions and feelings, they are a lot more important than many want to acknowledge, me included. Think about it. Our spirits can't be all cold and logical and linear. For one thing, that would be totally imbalanced. Our souls are not limited by time or space or the rules by which we try to conduct ourselves consciously. We already know from our dreams that on a subconscious level we deal more in emotions, symbols, impressions, and not usually in an orderly fashion. In our daily lives, we may act on instincts, completely without awareness. Out of habit or early training, we often ignore our own feelings or exaggerate them or short circuit them. In many instances, we don't consciously know exactly why we react to some things and not others. It may also be that we're just too close to the source to know what we're really up to at all. Because we operate on more than just the conscious level, objectivity with our own feelings would seem nearly impossible. When people speak of trying to 'find themselves,' this seems a ludicrous activity. I mean, shouldn't we know where and who we are at all times? Actually, we don't. We see ourselves too much or we don't look deep enough. We may tend to judge too harshly or we overlook the obvious. We're often very clever at deceiving ourselves. Fortunately, our spirits are also clever and powerful enough to give us assistance in finding out who we really are. Truthfully, our deepest self is reflected in everything around us. Everything we experience is a reflection of our Unconscious, Subconscious, Consciousness, Higher Consciousness, and Conscience even. All of that sounds like a con and it IS. We con ourselves into believing a set of parameters that define us as we present ourselves to the outside world. But, that's not all that we are. We have hidden motives, dark little secrets. We have parts of our natural selves which we've cut off or boxed up, because we're ashamed, frightened, embarassed or angry about them. We learn to fracture ourselves so we can fit into the mold, the one we allow others to shape for us. Early training and socialization teach us to mimic, to fit in, to follow suit... but most of the time, the suit doesn't really fit. Eventually, we realize that we're not all that comfortable with who we've become. We get the feeling that something is missing or misshapen, then we have to push ourselves to uncover what we've hidden, to rediscover who we are, to make us whole and balanced again. This reminds me of what is said of the Libra personality. The zodiac sign of Libra represents the Scales and Balance. Sometimes a Libra person will push things out of balance, just to see if they can put them right again. It would appear that we do this to ourselves as spirits too. I am currently unaware of all the reasons we do this, but it seems a universal occurrence. I'm not entirely sure if we tip the scales on purpose so we can nudge ourselves to restore the balance or if the scales are naturally tipped by the transformation(s) into human form and the ensuing pattern of social training. At some point, we begin to see that things are not as they appear on the surface. Our soul knows that we must deal with our lopsidedness. Like the two sides of the scales, there are equal and opposite effects going on, all the time, even if we are unaware of them. When I stand in front of a mirror, there is me and then there is that image of me. If I reach to my left, that image appears to reach to its right. We know there's something not quite accurate about the image but we get used to seeing it that way. When we start to feel the imbalance of the scales, when we start to wonder about that self in the mirror, especially if we're not happy with what we see, then it's time to look at ourselves honestly. Here's the real truth of reflection: Everything you experience, everything that seems to happen TO you, is actually FROM you. Don't get all caught up in your disbelief. It does make sense. How we feel, how we react, to everything in our lives is a reflection of who we are, on some level of consciousness. If there are things out there that bug you, they are hints of things within yourself that you don't like. The more aggravating they are, the stronger those traits are within you and the more you've been fighting to keep them hidden. Your conscious mind is likely unaware of them in yourself but the echo of these annoyances outside yourself triggers your fear or hatred in a safe way. After all, you aren't rejecting any part of yourself, on the surface of it, you're upset with that thing over there, a safe distance away from you. You are upset with that other person, not yourself. But the reality is, you are indeed upset with those characteristics. Your discomfort with them arises from the fact that you have spent a lot of energy hiding those things in yourself, consciously or subconsciously. How dare someone else allow such a thing to be displayed? You may get absolutely indignant over it. You despise the actions and the person, whom you deem careless in their exhibition of such behavior. Sometimes it's something you fear you may become and you secretly worry that others could infect you with it. At that point, the trait may not be as weighty as the fear itself. By the same token, people whom you love and admire are very likely displaying characteristics which you like within yourself or wish to develop. You feel comfortable with people who are like you, whether you see the similarities consciously or not. You may be jealous of others because you feel you're missing some quality which they possess and you desire. Truthfully, you possess that quality but you buried it in your own shadows for some reason. Maybe it's the flip side of a trait you don't like and so, by disallowing the 'bad' side of that equation, you also negated the 'good' side. You have not given yourself permission to express this desirable characteristic, perhaps because you do not want the responsibility of its counterpart. Also consider behaviors which you will do for others and not allow them to do for you. This disparity in yourself and your reflection is indicative of an imbalance as well. Why wouldn't you allow yourself to get as good as you give? Let's discuss gloves. If you have two hands, you need two gloves, a matched pair but opposite in a way, left and right reflections of each other. No matter how good the one glove fits, your other hand is going to be left out in the cold if you don't use the other glove. There is a potential advantage to this. The gloved hand may not be as dexterous as your bare hand. You may need to leave a glove off sometimes to perform some task. So maybe you want to wear only one glove at a time, but not always. If the same hand is bound by the glove all the time and the other hand that is left out in the cold all the time, you could be in for trouble. You may forever lose the natural dexerity of the gloved hand. You may lose fingers from the other to frost bite. Now, let us say that the pair of gloves is a pair of equal but reflected personality traits or values. If you have somehow managed to cultivate one of a matched pair, the side which you deem acceptable, then eventually, you're going to suffer for the inequity. That glove has to come off or you have to switch gloves from time to time, but you must use the pair to keep in harmony and maintain your own equilibrium. If one pair of gloves is Give and Take, and you think it's only permissible to use the Give glove, then it will likely wear out. The Take glove will not fit the Give hand. You can't buy only a Give glove for replacement. You must buy them in pairs, always. Thus, if you do not learn to take as well as give, you will continually find yourself with no way to give and that pile of 'useless' Take gloves will really get on your nerves. You will see other people using their Take gloves and you won't like it. You have never allowed yourself to use yours. How dare they? Either that or you'll flip suddenly into Take mode. You'll put on each Take glove and wear it out. You'll go against your original principle of giving, still leaving you with a big problem and a total imbalance. It's a pendulum swing from one extreme to the other and no way to come to rest in the harmonious middle. You're out of gloves. You're completely disconnected, having left yourself out in the cold, feeling unprotected and unable to beg, borrow or steal your way back into even one glove. So when you stand before the mirror or venture out into the world, take a good long look at your reflection. When you're pleased with someone or their actions, appreciate yourself for those characteristics too. You like them and you possess them. When you're annoyed, it's a flag, a sign from your own soul, letting you know that this is something you are missing or something you have ignored or shoved off into your own shadows or it's something you fear within. If it truly disturbs you, then this would be a good place to start some soul work. Some have called it shadow work because we must look beyond the well-lit surface of our reactions and see what they are telling us about our shadowy hidden selves. This does not mean that we'll be shown bad things, only things which we have denied. These are the unloved step-children of our spirit. We have not allowed them to come out and play. We have not taken responsibility for them. We have not balanced ourselves and we can see exactly where in that reflected image. Parts of us may appear broken or faded in the grand mirror. We need to make repairs and we can do so from noticing our reactions to others, for they carry the parts of our own mirror image which are missing or distorted. (Reflection)

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