Retail Therapy

Otherwise known as SHOPPING! Are you a shopaholic? Would you like to take up residence at the mall?

Well, wait a minute. Unless you're independently wealthy (and who is?) then you might want to satisfy this urging with less impact to your budget. No, I'm not talking about bird-dogging sales or carrying a coupon portfolio.

When you have the urge to shop, even though you don't really need anything specific, I highly recommend that you fake it. Yes. Get the thrill of the chase without owing your first-born to Visa. Put the credit cards and check book away... and SHOP!

Huh? Am I referring to window shopping? Well, not exactly.

It's so easy to equate shopping with buying. Often window shopping turns into buying. But is buying really the thrill? Isn't it just fun to pick through things and look at what's out there and think about what use you could have for items?

Now I'm not really keen on mall-walking but I have to admit that I love to flip through catalogs or page through web stores. Even if I'm looking for a particular item which I need, I'm so easily distracted by what else is available. Sometimes I pop into a website or pick up a catalog that has nothing I could possibly need, ever, in this lifetime, but the junk in there is so interesting or unusual that I have to look. I just have to. I may wonder about what kind of person actually buys that stuff or I may work really hard to think of an excuse for me to buy it!

This is where Retail Therapy really works. There's a costly version where we're in a mood, we go out to the stores, and buy stuff just because we feel like it. Well, that's somewhat satisfying but then there are after effects, like guilt over blowing the budget or having to find a place to store the gawdy whatsits we ended up with or now needing an outfit to match a third pair of fuchsia sling pumps, etc.

I propose instead that we conduct Retail Therapy in the comfort of home (away from the danger of lightning quick cashiers and overly enthusiastic salespersons). With internet and catalog orders, there's a moment of delay. It takes more action to complete a form than to whip out the plastic for a clerk.

With web store or catalog shopping, we don't have our hands on the things yet. So, in that brief space of time, between selection and actual order processing, we can make a more reasonable decision about whether we really and truly must have the clown motif three-way lamp and potato peeler that would look so cute on the kitchen counter. Besides such useful and practical items, we sometimes neglect to pick out items in a store for fear that the sales staff and other customers might think we're weird? phht The nerve of some people!

Now... when you're sitting at home at the computer or lounging on the sofa with a catalog, well, you can shop for anything you want! No matter how weird it is or how much you really do not need it, or can't even tell exactly what it is, but it looks really cool and it goes very well with that other thing on the page!

Here is the Safe Retail Therapy procedure:
~ Get comfy with your catalog(s) or at the web store(s).
~ Shop 'til your eyelids drop.
~ Write down everything, every little or big thing you see that you could remotely want. Everything.
~ Get all the information. Fill in the item#, description, quantity. Select the size, the color. Select matching items. Fill up the order blank. If you run out of room, get a yellow legal pad and draw in the columns and keep on ordering.
~ On the web, hit that "Add to Cart" key just as much as you want. Fill up the virtual shopping cart. Most of them will hold anything your heart desires and then some.
~ Add up everything, including shipping and handling and taxes. Find out exactly what this shopping spree would cost.
...and then...
~ Wad up the order blank and throw it away... or close the internet browser window.

Until you mail that order blank or put your credit card info into a web form, you are under no obligation. The whole exercise has cost nothing but your time, and hopefully that was spent in pleasure.

You didn't really need that stuff. You know it will end up in a yard sale some day. You just want to play the game. It's a sport. It's easily more exciting than chasing a little white ball all over the countryside with a stick. Doesn't hurt nearly as much as getting hit in the head with a high fly ball or dropping a bowling ball on your foot. (By the way, you can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.)

It's Shopping. It's a game. It's Retail Therapy. When the game is over, the score sheet gets tossed.

When you're finished playing, recognize that you just got the biggest and best load of bargains in your life! You got to look through everything, order everything you wanted and it didn't cost you a penny! (And you don't have to wonder where to store that set of sixteen funky zoo clips, when not in use.)

If you don't believe the magic of this therapy, just try it. Get a catalog from anywhere. Go through it meticulously, seriously look at everything and make up your order. It's not the acquisition that's really the joy of the game. It's making the selections, exercising your freedom of choice, especially if it can be done without any consequences whatsoever. How liberating! Just imagine getting a food catalog and planning a gourmet feast, seven full courses that Bill Gates couldn't afford, then, throw it away. No harm, no foul. Play again anytime.

Here are some suggested catalogs, online and offline. These are my personal favorites because they contain unusual collections of things. Most of them have such little practical use that I'm not tempted to actually buy them. However, when you've practiced the game a few times, it works just as well to go through clothing or even shoe catalogs!

(These links will open in a new 'Shopping' window, so you don't have to leave Venusian Voice if you don't want to.)


Amazing collection of inexpensive party supplies, novelties and generally useless but cute doodads. DO request a catalog! Can still order online by item cat# but... you just have to page through this book. Entertaining for children too.


As one might guess, these are things you just don't run across every day. New or just too weird to be needed, but fun to explore. Would also be a good one for getting the real catalog.


This catalog looks good enough to eat. They aren't just showing pictures of food. The way they do it, it's mouthwatering art.

Can almost feel and smell these items made for pampering. Warning - Many of these items DO have a more practical use since pampering yourself is something you really should engage in. At least the prices are reasonable.

I am (or will soon be) an affiliate with some of these sites, but the point of this is NOT to buy. Simply to shop, enjoy the activity, and save your money for more important things. :) My participation in the affiliate programs is just in case you find something you can't resist, but really... try to resist.